GTA IV First Impressions

I'm not going to spoil anything for you as I've not played it that much, but by God, this game is terrible. Not really, it's awesome and anybody who says otherwise should have their teeth painfully removed via their anus. By the way, I'm sorry I haven't updated for a couple of days, but I've been playing GTA IV a hell of a lot. It sucks your life away from you and you'll love it for it.

Public Enemy once said 'Don't Believe the Hype'. A very roundabout way of saying 'don't get your hopes up'. But prior to the game's release it was very hard to abide by such a rule, as, deep down, we all knew it was going to be awesome. Practically everything works and works well in the game. The driving is fantastic and incredibly satisfying, much more so than in previous GTAs. The shooting system, whilst not being perfect, is very well implemented, incredibly robust and solid and once you've had your first taste of gunnery in the game you'll want more and you'll want it quickly. Melee fighting can be a bit hit and miss (literally), but when you land the counters and take your enemy down, it's incredibly satisfying. The plot is compelling and Niko and Roman (the main characters) are incredibly likeable. You'll want better for them and you'll try to complete the missions so you can see the Bellics get what they want.

I haven't had much chance to play the online multiplayer, but what I have played was rather fun. I'm waiting to finish the main storyline of single-player before I properly sink my teeth into it.

There have been some criticisms of the game, though. I, being the GTA Fanboy that I am, would like to argue those views until I'm red in the face. The following quote is from a user review on Metacritic which is typical of some of the criticisms GTA IV is getting:

"Good gameplay, better than average audio, mediocre graphics. 10/10? No way in hell."

"Good gameplay"? Hmm. Okay. I'll go along with that, for now. Little vague, though.

"Better than average audio"? What does this mean? Playback quality? If so, then it's much better than average, it's near-perfect. If you mean voice-acting, sound effects and things like that, then that's incredibly harsh and you're an idiot.

"Mediocre graphics"? ARE YOU FUCKING MENTAL? A game that loads a whole city on the fly to have graphics like GTA IV has is a fucking stroke of fucking genius you fucking tw@.

I realise we're all entitled to our opinions (hell, I've made a whole blog about mine), but when people's opinions are like this, you have to worry for their mental health. You just have to.

To sum up, then, if you own either a PS3 or Xbox 360 and don't at least own a copy of this game (with the intent to play it, of course) then you're either going to get it soon (which I applaud you for), still haven't received your copy (hang in there buddy, we understand your pain), or are an elitist gamer c*nt who only buys certain types of games because you have an inflated sense of self-worth and thrive on being the under-appreciated gaming scholars who shit on those that you think know less than you. If you are in this third group, then more fool you, sirs and madams, because (judging by little more than 10 hours of gameplay) you're missing out on quite possibly the greatest game ever made.

Oh, and by the way, Euphoria is a Godsend. It is so very, very, very awesome.