Sorry to all those of you who were looking forward to Part III of my
Legend of Zelda Introspective, but it's been a quite while since the Part II and, quite frankly, I've lost interest. I've haven't used my Wii properly for a good six months now and I'm getting a little annoyed at how Nintendo are shafting its fans. I've just had about 4000 Star points deleted from my Club Nintendo account. That's almost all of the points I had actually amassed since 2003, I think. That's 5 years of collecting and saving my points until something good popped up on the catalogue. Nothing ever did, or when it did it sold out quicker than I could even get onto the site. Exchanging them for Wii Points was always 'sold-out', too, however that works; how can you sell-out of something that doesn't really exist?
Whatever, I'm fed up. There aren't any games I can be bothered with and the thought of a new Zelda game was the only thing stopping me from boxing up my Wii and sticking it on eBay. In fact, it still is. I'm going to wait until they stop pricking around with non-games like
Wii fucking Fit and retard/fanboy fodder like
Super Smash Bros. Brawl and start giving us the good shit. If the new Zelda game turns out to be some sort of casual gamer bullshit then fuck eBay, I'm gonna find the biggest building I can and drop the useless piece of shit off the top of it.
However, I did actually start Part IV of the series of articles and I might as well show you what I'd done. It was going to be my 'treatment', if you will.
"Plot: Dragmire Corporation. Ganondorf as evil President. Pretty much owns Hyrule City, a massive metropolis where the rich-poor divide is huge. Law Enforcement is corrupt.
Link is born to a young Hyrulian couple with links to the Ancient Sheikah race, said to know the whereabouts or the means to acquiring the Triforce. Ganondorf captures and tortures Link's parents to find out how to get to the Triforce. They don't tell him and he kills them. Link is 6 years old when this happens.
Link grows up in an orphanage knowing Ganondorf killed his parents. Link is raised by and befriends a girl who volunteers at the orphanage. At the age of 18, Link leaves the orphanage and becomes an outcast, living on the streets. He practices sword fighting, with his sword being the only thing he still has from his parents, in back-alleys, keeping out of the way of the law.
One day, he accidentally falls into the sewers and is found by the sewer children. They take him to their village, where he speaks to the village elder. He recognises Link as a supposed saviour and calls upon Navi (the Navi from Ocarina), who appears and is startled at what she sees. Link is the spitting image of the ancient Hero of Time."
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